When I was engaged, a couple of different sets of friends threw me a bridal shower. Wrapping paper and bows flew as I unwrapped towels, sheets, dishes, flatware. Many of the items had been giddily selected when the former husband and I registered for gifts. New things for our first home together. Color coordinated and full of visions of a future life in a delightfully decorated home which would serve as the perfect place to entertain our families and friends.
When I was pregnant with Thing One a couple of years later, my dearest friend threw me a baby shower. Wrapping paper and bows flew as I unwrapped onesies, booties, books, and the rage of the season: The Diaper Genie. New things for our new baby. Tiny sweet outfits and necessities full of visions of a future in a delightfully decorated nursery which would serve as the perfect place to raise our firstborn baby.
When I was pregnant with Thing Two, I bought my own supplies, and I stocked up for his birth. Two friends gave me blankets they had made.
Thing Two’s arrival was no less of a celebration, but the etiquette of the day dictated that second and subsequent babies were not justified in having a shower. Oh, certainly there is always an exception to the rule: if the family’s house had burned down between baby one and baby two, if ten years had passed between baby one and baby two, if baby two for one parent was actually baby one for the other.
And I was fine with it.
I was fortunate in that Thing Two was the same gender as Thing One. And even born at the same time of year. Ideally, all of Thing One’s clothing would be easily reused. There didn’t seem to be a NEED for a shower.
Showers for second (and subsequent) marriages also were deemed to be unnecessary. After all, didn’t the couple already receive all the towels, sheets, dishes, etc. as gifts for their first wedding? They didn’t NEED anything.
But times, they tend to change.
Enter the idea of a “sprinkle” — a smaller gift giving fête celebrating the arrival of a subsequent child. It’s kind of a clever idea, really. Something special to celebrate the arrival of a new human being, regardless of where they fall in the birth order.
I kind of like it. After all, those subsequent children’s arrivals are just as anticipated and special as their first born sibling.
But why stop there?
When I got divorced, after 9 years and 360 days of marriage, my towels were ratty, my sheets threadbare, my dishes chipped, and my flatware service incomplete. I would have loved a celebration of my new chapter — perhaps a Divorce Deluge — complete with a Martini bar, passed hors d’oeuvres and dancing until dawn. A few new items for my house would definitely have helped me perk up just a bit.
For those entering into a second (or subsequent) marriages, maybe there should be a Second Marriage Mist where friends and family could help the new couple shed the negative juju attached to towels that dried the butts of their exes and start their new lives completely free of sheets that have seen action with the former spouse.
Life is full of changes, new chapters and reasons to celebrate the future.
Why stop with a sprinkle?
This post was inspired by one of the weekly writing prompts at