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Memories Captured: Missed Moments (Lesson Learned)

On Saturday, Thing Two and I had spent all freakin’ day together. He ordered a laptop from Best Buy and the closest location to our house that had it to pick up that day was an hour away.

Naturally, I did what any mother would do and said….

Of course! Let’s drive an hour to get it and an hour to get home.

It really wasn’t that bad. I love having “captive” time with my kids, especially one at a time. I took it as a gift.

The laptop was purchased, we made it home, Thing Two changed into his basketball uniform and we dashed to the gym for the game.

Feeling seriously behind due to spending all day driving to Best Buy to collect the laptop, I tried to catch up on my email on my phone during the game. Thing Two doesn’t play every minute, and usually, I can stay tuned in enough to know when my own kid is on the court and give him a cheer or two or ten.

All of a sudden, I heard the most incredible cheering. The coach was off the bench. The crowd was going wild.

I knew something amazing had happened.

In the far recesses of my mind, I heard “Great job, Jason!” coming from his coach.

Just then, my heart knew what my eyes had missed.

Thing Two had made his first basket of the season.

We’re not at the beginning of our season, people.

We’re halfway through.

He’s been trying.

He’s been working on having the courage to take the shot in the midst of the intensity of the game.

He took the shot.

He made the shot.

I. Missed. It.

Because too much email collected in my inbox.

My heart sank.

After the game, on our way to the car, Thing Two said, “Mama! I made the shot!”

I lied.

I said, “I know! I’m so proud of you.”

But because the weight of it on my heart was suffocating.

Because my child has a right to know his mother is far from perfect.

I hung my head.

I admitted my inattention.

And I was forgiven.

He shook it off. He believes it will happen again. He’s probably right.

Doesn’t change the fact that I missed the first one.

I’m sorry.

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{ 34 comments… add one }

  • Alison January 14, 2013, 6:23 am

    Aw, I’m sorry you missed it.
    I do love that he’s had his confidence boosted – so don’t worry, he’s right, he’ll do it again and you won’t miss it. :)
    Alison recently posted..Memories Captured – January Linkup

    • RChicken January 14, 2013, 4:04 pm

      And I captured this memory specifically so that I’ll learn from this moment. Thank you for the opportunity to do so!

  • idiosyncratic eye January 14, 2013, 7:30 am

    It’s another meaning to keep your eye on the ball! I think you were right to own up though, honesty is so important for good communication and relationships. :)
    idiosyncratic eye recently posted..Guess What II

    • RChicken January 14, 2013, 4:04 pm

      You’re right. I hope I showed him that he can tell me when he’s made a disappointing choice.

  • Kerstin January 14, 2013, 8:43 am

    I’m glad you told him and it’s wonderful that he forgave you.
    That he believes it will happen again and the fact that he forgave you is a wonderful tribute to you, mama!
    Kerstin recently posted..explore and discover

    • RChicken January 14, 2013, 4:03 pm

      I was so relieved when he accepted it as just a blip on the radar. So proud that he thinks it won’t be the last :)

  • Nicole January 14, 2013, 9:04 am

    I cannot speak to this as a mother, but I can as a child (though I am an adult). It’s SO important for children to see that their parents make mistakes. I know that the times my parents admitted they’d made a mistake or apologized, it made me feel less like I had to be perfect all the time… it creates an important dynamic, helps build trust and security. And there will be many baskets and other achievements for you to share!
    Nicole recently posted..Dear Academia: An Open Letter

    • RChicken January 14, 2013, 4:02 pm

      Good point! Wonder how many mistakes is “too many” — ha!

  • deana January 14, 2013, 2:47 pm

    I have missed things before. I looked away for 1 second and missed my oldest daughters first back hand spring.
    deana recently posted..Waking up

    • RChicken January 14, 2013, 3:54 pm

      I have sort of forgiven myself. But I’m still disappointed that I didn’t get to see it :(

  • Jenny January 14, 2013, 4:20 pm

    Hello. New reader here. I just have to say, for what it’s worth, I think it’s pretty great that you admitted the truth to your son. At least you were there to experience the crowd roaring for him–you missed it with your eyes, but didn’t miss it with your ears!–and that’s nothing to sneeze at.
    Jenny recently posted..How to Control Your Hygienist’s Uterus

  • Katie E January 14, 2013, 6:14 pm

    Aw, I totally get where you’re coming from. Sometimes I wish we didn’t have all this technology that makes it too easy for us to glance away for a moment and miss a bigger moment. But it’s wonderful that you told him and he took it well! It’ll happen again.
    Katie E recently posted..Memories Captured: Siblings Photobooth

  • Jackie January 14, 2013, 7:41 pm

    I’m sorry that you missed it… I’m here to tell you that you’re not the first parent to miss something like this. I’ve done it too…. more than once. I’m not proud of it but I know that they’ve made the shot again and I saw it!
    Jackie recently posted..Monday Menu ~ Cranberry Orange Scones

  • Kim@Co-Pilot Mom January 14, 2013, 8:20 pm

    I am sorry that you missed the first basket, but I am sure will get to see another one soon. I agree that it is great that you admitted it to your son and that he understood. Sounds like the two of you have great communication!
    Kim@Co-Pilot Mom recently posted..Super Boy!

  • Christine @ Love, Life, Surf January 14, 2013, 8:52 pm

    I’m so sorry that you missed his first basket. You are a braver than I am in confessing that you missed it to your son. You are definitely not the first parent to miss a moment like that. But I love your son’s confidence and yes! It will happen again!
    Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted..A 28th Anniversary

    • RChicken January 15, 2013, 8:31 pm

      I’m looking forward to Saturday’s game — won’t take my eyes off that kid!

  • ilene January 14, 2013, 9:11 pm

    I don’t know if I would have been brave enough to confess – but I have been there before – on my phone at games and not paying attention. I have just been lucky enough to not make a basket. I will take your post as the great warning.
    ilene recently posted..Three Things That Make A Difference

    • RChicken January 15, 2013, 8:31 pm

      Even tonight as I made dinner, I wanted to check my emails, my texts, my electronic connections…but Thing Two was seated at the breakfast bar talking about his day. Recalling my error of Saturday helped me keep my focus on my kid. I only hope that I can continue to break the iron grip that tech has on me when I need to focus on the humans.

  • Galit Breen January 15, 2013, 10:35 am

    Oh you, I get this.

    I’ve been the one to miss The Moment before, too.

    And it hurts and is humbling, for sure.

    But WOW how amazing that you owned it and apologized and moved forward. THAT is inspiring.

    {Wouldn’t the world be so much lovelier if we all owned our action in this way? I love that you showed him that, and you’ll be there to cheer the loudest next time!}
    Galit Breen recently posted..Joining the allParenting Team!

    • RChicken January 15, 2013, 8:29 pm

      The world would be grand if every mistake were owned by its perpetrator. I’m blessed that I have a son who has a forgiving heart. It made it a little easier for me to face the music. I knew that he’d love me no matter what.

  • Carolyn Y January 15, 2013, 12:44 pm

    Exactly what Galit said.

    I’ve been guilty of too much technology. I’ve begun to turn it all (it’s hard) off at night.
    Carolyn Y recently posted..Friends Forever?

    • RChicken January 15, 2013, 8:28 pm

      I started with “Do not disturb” on my phone. But have also stopped using the TV to lull me to sleep. I’m taking back my life, containing the tech, and hopefully reconnecting with my family.

  • Kristen January 15, 2013, 3:52 pm

    Telling him the truth shows what a great mama you are. I’m sorry you missed the moment that he made the shot but I’m glad you took the moment to open up. There will be more and they will all be magical too because they are baskets made by your own son.

    Beautiful words!

    • RChicken January 15, 2013, 8:28 pm

      He has such a gracious heart. I am blessed.

  • Kimberly Speranza (Sperk*) January 16, 2013, 8:44 am

    Such is the constant struggle between “me time” and “kid time”. My belly aches for you on this one and I’m so grateful you shared this well-written reminder to be present. And I’m proud of Thing Two for making his first basket! yay!
    Kimberly Speranza (Sperk*) recently posted..Wednesday’s Woman: Mildred Loving

    • RChicken January 17, 2013, 7:46 am

      Thanks! Now…this weekend I pray he makes another. His confidence is up. And I won’t miss this one!

  • Adrienne January 16, 2013, 1:41 pm

    Oh man! That is stinks. I’m so sorry you missed it! It’s so hard to not be distracted sometimes. We all do it. You’re not alone.
    Adrienne recently posted..Is This Just Hammer Pants?

    • RChicken January 17, 2013, 7:46 am

      One of the best parts of blogging is connecting to others who know their imperfections and provide grace and a (virtual) hug when I need one. Thank you!

  • Kathy at kissing the frog January 16, 2013, 10:29 pm

    I probably would have done the same thing. My boys are not stellar athletes, so i don’t feel like I miss much if I’m not totally focused during games. I know how you feel, but don’t beat yourself up, Mama. There will be plenty of other wonderful moments you won’t miss!
    Kathy at kissing the frog recently posted..How to Sleep-Train A Toddler in 30 Easy Steps

    • RChicken January 17, 2013, 7:45 am

      I have another opportunity on Saturday to get it right! And even though I’m working my part time gig all day, I’m going to have laser focus on my boy :) No email until I get home. Period!

  • Kimberly January 20, 2013, 12:27 am

    Found your blog on Write On Edge and so glad I did…what a touching story. I admire your honesty when it would have been so easy to lie. I think that teaches your little guy more than anything else…but I hope you get to see the next one!
    Kimberly recently posted..The Bait and Switch

    • RChicken January 21, 2013, 12:13 pm

      There was a part of me that felt selfish in acknowledged my failure. Why couldn’t I bear the weight of it so that I didn’t crush his moment. But decided that I’d want honesty from him at all costs. So chose to be honest anyway.

  • Yvonne January 20, 2013, 1:17 pm

    Aww, don’t beat yourself up about it. He will make another basket, I’m sure! And? He already forgave you, sounds like a great kid!
    Yvonne recently posted..about a girl…

    • RChicken January 21, 2013, 12:08 pm

      He IS a great kid. Had a great game on Saturday, but didn’t score again yet. But it came down to the wire, and he and his team didn’t give up for one second. So proud! (And I watched every single second of that game — even when my own kid was on the bench.)

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