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A book on the nightstand

In my bedroom there is a queen sized bed. And two nightstands.

They don’t match. And I don’t care. It’s eclectic.

But as I was making my bed yesterday, I picked up the book that had been in my hands when I fell asleep the night before and set it on the nightstand to the right of my bed.

The extra nightstand.

Seems like an insignificant act.

But a light bulb went off in my head.

I’ve recently been chatting with a guy from Match.com (yeah, my 3 month experiment has turned into a 6 month experiment because I failed to “cancel” before their overzealous renewal process auto-renewed me).

He seems to be a nice guy.

Probably a gentleman.

But he’s mentioned more than once that he doesn’t read.

Like, at all.

Not that he can’t, I don’t think.

He shared that he’s read five books in his whole life.

Maybe this shouldn’t be a deal breaker. After all, he seems to be a nice guy in lots of other ways.

It’s kind of like this: if I were a music lover and my boyfriend didn’t like music, then it would be hard to share about one of the most important things in my life.

Or if I loved college basketball and spent every waking minute of the weekend watching it, but my partner couldn’t care less about any sporting event ever, then it would be hard to share about one of the most important things in my life.

Or if I were an arachnologist and was on a quest to find rare spiders and my boyfriend was arachnophobic, that could be a problem, yes?

It’s not like he said he doesn’t like spinach. I could work around that.

Or even that he doesn’t like yard work. Or that he doesn’t see the value in recycling.

He doesn’t care to partake in one of the most significant chunks of my life.

I guess if I were seriously attracted and there were other things we might have in common, it might be worth investing more time.

But I want a book on the second nightstand.

{ 11 comments… add one }

  • Stacey October 17, 2012, 9:56 am

    maybe you could ask him why he doesn’t read…maybe he had a terrible book experience…? lol, or perhaps he gave up before he found a book that really moved him? Personally, it wouldn’t be a deal breaker unless he absolutely REFUSED to ever read anything ever again. But that’s mostly because that would be a pretty closed minded view to have on something as prevalent and accessible as READING.
    Just my thought :)

  • tovah October 17, 2012, 1:24 pm

    I remember a number of years ago, my husband and I had a guy over for dinner. He saw maybe 15 books that we had on a stand and he said, “wow. Have you really read all those?” I was astonished because we had about 200 more in the bedroom. Was it really possible that as a 40 year old adult, he had not read more than 15 books?

  • The UDG October 17, 2012, 10:31 pm

    Husband is not a reader; however, he has a favorite author (Edgar Allen Poe, which I think is pretty impressive for a non-reader) and does enjoy a good short story. He also encourages my passion for reading (he downloaded a thousand books onto my Kindle and that’s not an exaggeration) and respects when I am reading (I tend to get a little angry, ok Hulkish, when interrupted while reading). I might not consider it a deal breaker until I’d determined if it was an aversion to reading all together.

  • aka Laverne October 18, 2012, 5:25 am

    Oh I love this… LOVE this! How hard is it do the dating thing! I know you want that someone. How easy it would be to settle but deep inside you have this fantastic inner voice and its strong and it knows your worth. The nightstand will hold a book… I know it! On a completely different note… I loved the pace and feel of this piece. All so wonderfully written. Really shared your voice and the last line… Beautiful!!
    aka Laverne recently posted..Meredith and her GLOw

  • Jackie October 18, 2012, 5:56 am

    Let’s say that he isn’t interested in what you are right now but as time passes and you get to know one another better he’s open to learning more and trying what you like… and vice versa???
    Jackie recently posted..Diary of a Submissive ~ A book review

  • Kelley October 19, 2012, 2:13 pm

    I love, love, love to read and read every night. My husband doesn’t read much, but has read more than 5 books. Still, I think he’s a super smart guy. I don’t care that he doesn’t read much as long as he doesn’t care that I do!
    Kelley recently posted..The Caged Bird Does Not Sing: A Story of Domestic Violence

  • Jen @ Bible Belt to Boulder October 19, 2012, 5:43 pm

    I don’t know if it would be a deal breaker but … I have a few, possibly stereotypical, thoughts that come to mind with this. I associate not reading with not wanting to learn or being completely close-minded. Also, it’s one thing to not read much or to not read voraciously but no more than 5 books in his life? How did he even get through school?

    But you know, it’s possible that none of those stereotypes apply here, but I have to admit, good or bad, if I were dating, that would likely be a deal breaker early on.
    Jen @ Bible Belt to Boulder recently posted..Lessons from Our Children

  • Clearly Kristal October 24, 2012, 2:22 pm

    I don’t think this is a deal breaker. My husband is not a big reader – but we have so many other things in common. I also think that sometimes we choose partners that are not like us – so you balance each other – Ying and Yang. You teach one another new finds or joys of life. Lastly, maybe you could inspire him to pick up reading again? I hope you find your second book…
    Clearly Kristal recently posted..Signing Off: ‘I Love You’

  • Jill October 24, 2012, 8:29 pm

    Hmmm… Think you could be sabotaging it before it has a chance?
    Jill recently posted..Random Acts of Kindness: Kids

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