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Hidden scraps of a long lost love

As we prepared for the garage sale we’re planning on holding next weekend, we dug through each and every corner of the basement today.

We found quite a few items to sell, and even if they don’t bring us money, they won’t be coming back in the house. They’ll be a donation to Goodwill to bless someone else’s life.

Along with the old board games, candlesticks, suitcases and kitchen implements relegated to basement life because they don’t get used in the kitchen, I happened upon a small scrap of paper that stopped me in my tracks.

love note

This little scrap of paper — in reality it is 2″ x 3″ — has a flower, a date, and a signature.

I hadn’t thought of this scrap of paper in seven years.

The Man Who Would Be King gave it to me toward the end of our first date. He had decided he was smitten with me, and he wished he’d brought me flowers.

Sweet, huh?

At the time I thought so.

I was smitten too.

Still am, I guess.

Even though he lied to me as easily as he breathed.

And my heart has titanium armor around it now.

My self esteem took a direct hit — from which I may not have fully recovered.  Even now.

But, my future isn’t in our past. My future is ahead of me. With someone worthy of me.

long lost love

And so…that little scrap of paper that I tucked away so long ago feels a bit like a talisman — tying me to a man who has moved on.

Keeping me tethered to fear of a future heartbreak.

Holding me captive.

And so, while I thought strongly about recycling it, I knew that knowing it could blow away and still exist bothered me.

So, I burned it.

And as a forest fire renews a forest from time to time, the ashes of this small connection to my former love will renew my heart.

Those ashes will add nourishment to the soil beneath my favorite tree. The one I see from my office window.

The one that will shade the path of my next love.

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{ 8 comments… add one }

  • idiosyncratic eye June 6, 2012, 3:00 pm

    Aw, being able to free ourselves from the past is sometimes so necessary unfortunately. Those words about not being worth the truth, they really struck a chord with me. I hope your sale goes well and that your titanium armour holds up. :)
    idiosyncratic eye recently posted..More Breaking News

    • RChicken June 6, 2012, 6:55 pm

      Thanks :) My titanium armor is too strong. I’m thinking of taking it into the shop to help it be a little more malleable.

  • Naked Girl in a Dress June 6, 2012, 7:43 pm

    “Even though he lied to me as easily as he breathed.” Oh how I know what that feels like. I am so sorry you have experienced that too.

    If he is not worthy of you, then why are you giving him the power to rob you of your future? Don’t let him have that over you. Take off the armor and get back to experiencing life fully, which includes taking risks.

    You are a wonderful woman and YOU are robbing some wonderful man of the experience of having you in his life.
    Naked Girl in a Dress recently posted..Is Being Too Independent a Bad Thing?

  • Classic NYer June 7, 2012, 3:40 pm

    “And as a forest fire renews a forest from time to time, the ashes of this small connection to my former love will renew my heart.”

    And like the phoenix rises from the burning ashes, so will you.
    Classic NYer recently posted..On thing number one hundred

  • Tracie June 25, 2013, 10:07 am

    I think it is very fitting that you burned it – and used the ashes to give life to something. Your future is coming, and it will be amazing.
    Tracie recently posted..This Is Why I Will Never Read Another Book Series With My Husband

    • RChicken June 25, 2013, 11:46 am

      It will be. I must be open to it…Thank you!

  • Adrienne June 29, 2013, 7:55 am

    Letting go feels so good! I remember hanging on to a box of useless memories from the past and it felt good to throw them away. Thanks for linking up!
    Adrienne recently posted..You’ll never believe it…I’m Mom of the Year!

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