I was minding my own business on Twitter the other day.
Well, as much can mind one’s own business when spending time with thousands of strangers posting niblets of their lives online in 140 characters or less.
And all of a sudden, a tweet comes through the stream that catches my eye.
And I responded:
All the while thinking that I was being sort of serious yet sarcastic too.
Chocolate – in my mind, it’s very good…but some might think it’s unhealthy. Moderation, right?
Exercise – supposed to be good, but mentally have to talk myself into doing it. Moderation again, right?
But…the one that popped back into my mind on my morning walk/jog today was heartbreak.
Really? Can a broken heart be anything other than bad?
I’ve had a few heartaches in my day — not to be confused with heartburn which is easily remedied with Prilosec.
Heartaches hurt. Deep-down-raw-gut-wrenching hurt.
You want to take turns curling up into a little ball, eating quarts of chocolate ice cream, and conjuring up vindictive plans to ruin the perpetrator’s life.
Or you just cry from the depths of your soul.
So how can that be good in any way?
The answer came to me halfway down the street…heartache is good because at least you’re feeling something.
Numbness is neutral.
Numbness is beige.
Numbness is flavorless.
And living in a numb state isn’t really living at all.
To feel incredible joy, vast love and abundant gratitude, you have to be willing to take on the pain of a broken heart.
You have to be willing to get hurt.
You have to take off the armor.
And by “you”, I mean me.
Photo credit: Billy Alexander
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Moderation is the key isn’t it! In everything… Even heartache I suppose. I haven’t thought about heart break in a long time. This post brought me back to a broken engagement I had in college. I ended up getting therapy to get help getting through it. I was heart broken and I’m the one that called it off. That experience changed my life. I would not be who I am today if I hadn’t done what I did and gone through that. I have learned that about surviving several things in my life. It seems that it is often the moment and where we are in it that makes it good or bad too. -LV
So are you saying between nothing and pain, don’t be numb? It’s hard to see the good in heartbreak when it’s being dealt with but I think looking back on any I’ve had, it does make you stronger – I’m not dead. I think this also reflects how people react to things – I might cry harder at the same thing you are going through because in my mind it’s a bigger thing. So tell me how to quit crying at TV, I should be able to make up my mind not to right? I’m so glad your thoughts were moved by my tweet – now it’s making me think more about it too!
Coffee Lovin’ Mom recently posted..Coffee Filters aren’t just for Coffee anymore..
I love it when I read a post about something that I’ve just been talking or thinking about.
I had a long, deep discussion about this with a male friend just the other day. He said he’d never been truly, madly in love and never had his heart broken, and he never intended to. To him, it wasn’t worth the risk.
This way of thinking baffles me. I told him the heartbreak is worth it because being in love is the most wonderful feeling, and to me, never feeling that (the high and the low) is just not living. I’d much, much rather have loved & lost than never loved at all. And believe me, I’ve had my heart broken and shattered into a million pieces. It’s still worth it! And I want to fall in love again…..
dysfunctional mom recently posted..A Few Fragments for You
When I remember my heartbreaks… I’m so glad, so very very glad, that I experienced them. Without them, I wouldn’t know that control-freaks are damaging to the soul, that atheists really AREN’T so much my cup of tea (for marriage, anyway, otherwise I don’t judge), and that if you don’t love and respect yourself, it’s really difficult (maybe impossible) for someone else to love you. And of course without those heart-breaks I wouldn’t have ended up with my husband. As for other heartaches, like death… my step-brother died five years ago, and other than ‘not taking any day for granted’ I’m really not sure how I can pull any good out of that. I’d rather have him back and keep taking my days for granted.
Kristen Mae recently posted..It’s Too Soon For Awards! (But I’ll Take It!)
I’m so sorry for your loss. When I thought about heart break for this piece, it never occurred to me that death brings heartache and heartbreak too. But of course, it does. I agree wholeheartedly, keep the people here…and skip the heartbreak in that case.
You are right Kimberly. To understand great joy, you must feel pain. It gives you perspective and a greater appreciation for the joy.
I am glad to read another post about that armor coming off.
Naked Girl in a Dress recently posted..30 Days to a Happier Life
Now if I can just do something more concrete than WRITE about it.
Heartbreak is awesome for songwriters and poets. Without heartbreak, we’d have no material. No, seriously.
Classic NYer recently posted..Poetry Corner Friday: Naked
Oh I understand this. And think you hit it on the head. As someone who has lived through one extremely painful heartache, I can honestly say it was the biggest lesson ever learned. A truly painful one, yes, but I wouldn’t take it back for the world. Love this and wish you much love and healing.
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Thanks
And I’ve learned from every one of mine too…Maybe I need to reframe those heartaches in my brain as lessons learned — necessary for the blessings and gifts of my future.
So true! Take that armor off and live, girl!
Sarcasm Goddess recently posted..The New Golden Rule
Easier said than done…got a girl sized can opener?
Life is about balance.
Corey Feldman recently posted..Where I’m at for Father’s day
Yes, it is…and the art of finding the balance is the hard part.
I can’t remember when I started not to care too much so I won’t get hurt. You’re right, heartache is still good because at least I’m still feeling something.
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