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Just Be Enough: Faith

 

I’ve learned a lot about my older child over the past 15 years.

And the biggest lesson I’ve learned is how to be more authentically myself.

He’s the master of it.

It’s like he came pre-programmed to be authentic and true to himself. I don’t know how else to explain it.

As a result, he’s not happy in his current school setting.

And it’s more than just a slightly cranky dislike of homework or a particular teacher.

He’s just not cut out for a conservative, suburban, mainstream public school setting.

I began to uncover this truth last summer, and more of it has become visible as the year has progressed. His grades are fine. He’s never in trouble.

But he’s also not inspired to learn. He’s not motivated by grades. He’s jumping through hoops with his eye only on graduation.

He needs something different.

At his enrollment conference in March, his advisor (bless her heart for really looking out for what’s best for each individual child) suggested to me that, while Thing One is a great asset to the school he’s currently attending, perhaps he might really thrive elsewhere.

And the school she suggested?

It’s the exact same one that crossed my path last summer when I was looking for alternative options for him.

So, we’ve investigated.

We have asked questions.

We have visited the school and asked even more questions.

I believe in my heart that this particular private school is where he needs to be.

But there’s tuition.

And transportation.

And every conceivable obstacle possible.

But somehow, some way, I have to find a way for him to go to this school.

It’s as important to his future as if he had a medical condition that needed treatment.

It’s as important to his future as nutritious food, a warm bed, and a loving mother.

It’s that important.

But how?

I don’t know.

And that’s where I’m struggling.

Sacrifices will have to be made.

We will find a way.

But I don’t know the particulars.

I don’t even know where to begin.

So, this is where faith comes in…

I don’t kneel in a church every Sunday.

But I do feel intense gratitude for the opportunity that’s been placed in our path, not just once, but twice. And I offer up my need, my child’s need, and trust that because if it is where he should be, it will find a way to become reality.

That’s how I’ll practice my faith.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Trust.

Take each step as it comes.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

With a heart full of gratitude.

Breathe in. Breathe Out.

Amen.

 

{ 19 comments… add one }

  • Jen {at} take2mommy April 16, 2012, 7:36 am

    I’m a firm believer that if your kid isn’t thriving in school, you do what it takes to get him/her the type of help or education they need. Good luck – I really hope you are able to work it out.
    Jen {at} take2mommy recently posted..Wordless Wednesday: Easter

  • Pixcel Smith April 16, 2012, 12:37 pm

    I’ve noticed that if you have faith (in yourself, God, who or what ever) it is frequently enough to make miracles happen. You are an awesome mom for doing this for him.
    Pixcel Smith recently posted..What happened to this month?

  • Anna April 17, 2012, 11:37 am

    I am sure you will find the way to manage this school switch. My older son had got the same problems, and after we’ve changed his school, his motivation began to grow and grow. I think it was really a good decision.
    Anna recently posted..cosmetic dental surgery

  • Missy | Literal Mom April 17, 2012, 7:38 pm

    It’s so liberating when you see the path. Even when it’s a a hard path, it’s still so liberating to know it’s there, you know? I’m so glad you’ve figured it out. Together.
    Missy | Literal Mom recently posted..Spring Party Season – The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

  • Charlie April 18, 2012, 3:57 am

    If that is for the betterment of your child, then you should go for it. I know it will be hard, the the end will justify the means.
    Charlie recently posted..womens scrubs

  • Jackie April 18, 2012, 6:34 am

    First off, the fact you acknowledge that his place in traditional public school isn’t the right fit, and you’re actively doing something about it, is to be commendable.
    I truly hope that with the right research and perhaps, some divine intervention in the form of scholarships (?!?) he can experience the joy that can be education.
    Good luck!
    Jackie recently posted..Gone

  • Mhikai April 18, 2012, 6:58 am

    I hope it will be good for your child and for your whole family too.. I am sure this can serve as a lesson to everyone especially to parents..
    Mhikai recently posted..Ernest Becker

  • Jackie April 18, 2012, 7:25 am

    This change will be worth every penny that you spend. Do they offer scholarships or tuition assistance?
    The best thing though is that the counselor noticed he needed something more and made the effort to help him. That I think is a great person. Most would just let him stay where he’s at and suffer through the system.
    Jackie recently posted..Wordful Wednesday ~ Bit by the theatre bug!

    • RChicken April 18, 2012, 8:07 am

      They do offer some financial aid, but only up to 50% of the tuition, which still leaves a decent chunk of change for me to find in my financial maze. But I’m determined to find a way. It’s that important.

  • Patricia April 18, 2012, 10:39 am

    How lucky you both are – you for a great son who is teaching you to be authentic and your son for having a mom who believes in him and trusts her intuition/gut feeling. Faith ~ it’s the best way to live.

    • RChicken April 18, 2012, 6:38 pm

      He makes me a better person. I hope I do the same for him.

  • Amy April 18, 2012, 5:33 pm

    I think there’s no question about the school switch: if he doesn’t feel good and motivated in the school, he has to change. It could have a negative effect on his education if he stayed there.
    Amy recently posted..What you should know about teeth implants

  • Stacey April 18, 2012, 7:55 pm

    Best of luck. I hope everything works out as you hoped.
    Stacey recently posted..Blue Eyes

  • jamie April 18, 2012, 10:11 pm

    These things are always tougher on mom — even if they are hard on our child. Go with your instinct and what scenario brings you peace. Here’s the best to your son and you.He’ll be fine with a mother who cares this much.
    jamie recently posted..Just say no to the “French Press.” Or my abs are going to flab.

    • RChicken April 19, 2012, 5:20 pm

      I think we’re really going to try to make it work. It’s like if you know there’s something that will make a significant difference in the life of your child, you do it…no matter what, right?

  • Kelly April 19, 2012, 8:14 am

    We always want to do what is best for our kids….and when something that important is at stake, we always find a way to make it work.
    Kelly recently posted..Pushing Pause

    • RChicken April 19, 2012, 5:19 pm

      Absolutely! I’m working on it…and we’ll find a way. I just know it.

  • Kimberly S. (Sperk*) April 20, 2012, 8:53 am

    Your willingness to be involved in your son’s education is admirable. I hear from my daughter (middle-school-age) all the time that, “…their parents just don’t care,” in response to my questions about some of her peers. The extent in which you care is what I wish for all children. I am so glad you exist, can clearly feel your pain in making it happen, and your absolute determination to make it happen is encouraging for all of us who give up much too easily.
    Kimberly S. (Sperk*) recently posted..Stuart Smalley, Grey Hair and a Promise

  • justkeepinitrealfolks April 23, 2012, 10:53 am

    You and your son are obviously both learning from each other. Sounds like you have a wonderful relationship. Keep the faith, and no doubt making the switch will become doable for you.
    justkeepinitrealfolks recently posted..Muffler Diving

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