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Chicken Nuggets of Wisdom

You know how there are bits and pieces of your life that are truly worth savoring, but not big enough to warrant an entire blog post?

I have lots of those.

And I’ve had a bit of a writer’s stump lately. Kind of like a writer’s block, but without much angst.

With the clock falling backward this week, I’ve been in bed by 8 p.m. and asleep by 9:30 every single night.

So, it was really no surprise when I woke up at 4:45 a.m. today wide awake and with this crazy surge of “Omigod, I have to get some of these moments down on paper before this week vanishes into the past like a swirl of fog dissipates as the sun warms the day.”

Yeah. I was poetic like that at 4:45 a.m.

Don’t believe me?

You get oodles of sleep and see how amazing YOUR brain can be, then judge me (or not).

So, I present to you Chicken Nuggets of Wisdom: memories, moments, and mishaps from this week at Casa Rubber Chicken.

Saturday Night as I prepared to go out for the evening:

Me: Hey, Thing Two, how do I look?
Thing Two: Good. (Gives a thumbs up)
Me: But I’m uncomfortable. I think I’ll go take off these “foundation garments” and see how bad the outfit looks without them.
[a moment or two (and several curse words) later]
Me: Well?
Thing Two: You still look a little fat, but at least now you look comfortable.

Saturday Night Out at the Club:

When a hot man wants to dance with you and no one else is on the dance floor, you have a choice to make:

a) Head to the dance floor with him (regretting the decision to abandon said “foundation garments”) and show the world how two 40-something wild and crazy people get down to Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream”


b) Stand against the bar, refusing to go, and cement once and for all your position as Queen of the Wallflowers whose jiggly bits will be primly and properly wiggle free.

I chose option A. And as a result made a fabulous memory. (Of course, I’m praying that I’ll never see any of those people again in my lifetime, but eh…what are the odds?)

The dog with the stomach of steel:

I’ve mentioned time and time again about my neurotic dog and the fact that he seems to have survived eating things that would have been the undoing of a lesser beast.

Yesterday, he ate an entire box of macaroni and cheese. Uncooked.

He’s still here today. Insanely thirsty, but still here.

And I’m expecting to see orange poop.


Imagine you’re enjoying a perfectly made dirty martini and a delightful crab cake appetizer with your bestie, and you receive the following text message:

Thing One: Mom, I had a bike accident.

Do not panic.

Do not abandon your perfectly made dirty martini and divine crab cake appetizer.

Especially if you’ve invested five years (and thousands of dollars) in tae kwon do.

You’ve raised a black belt who, when you frantically arrive home to lovingly nurse him back to health, will tell you about the entire escapade (complete with sound effects and graphic detail) and end the tale with, “It was SO cool, Mom!”


So, while it seemed like an ordinary week, there were bits of magic sprinkled in. Kind of like a unicorn fart.

What was ordinary on the surface, but magical in the grand scheme of life, for you this week?

My goal is to share my
Chicken Nuggets of Wisdom
with you every Friday.
But, as a total rule follower,
I have learned that the only rules
I can safely break are my own.

So, don’t bet on it!